Programme for week commencing 28th November, 2013. Thank you to guest speaker Rotarian Ian Young who is helping us with our eAwareness in Domestic Abuse Week 25th – 29th November.
Hello, I’m Ian Young and I’m a Domestic Violence Awareness Campaigner. I’m also into my second year as president of @HucknallRC. When I became the club’s president, I said that raising awareness about all aspects of Domestic Violence was one of my priorities. Why am I so passionate about this subject? Simply, because I was a victim. Yes, that’s right, men can be victims too. While 1 in 4 women will experience Domestic abuse in their lifetimes, so too will 1 in 6 men. However there is currently little support for men, but thanks to the recent storyline in Coronation Street featuring Tyrone the mechanic, more awareness about male victims is happening. I found that I had nowhere to turn so started speaking out about DV via a blog:
http://thesilenceofdomesticviolence.blogspot.co.uk/
Erin Pizzey, founder of the first Women’s Refuge is on record as saying that of the first 100 women to enter the Chiswick Refuge in 1971, 62 were as violent if not more so than the partners they were ‘escaping.’
Partner Abuse State of Knowledge Project (PASK) 2012 reveals the following:
The majority of Domestic Violence incidents is mutual – that is where both parties fight each other.
- Population Surveys : 57.9%
- Community Samples 59.6%
- School & College samples 51.9%
- Female oriented clinical samples 72.3%
These figures, over 40 years after Chiswick refuge was founded are still fairly consistent with Erin Pizzey’s findings. Between 51.9% – 59.6% are mutual Domestic Violence situations. The big surprise is the figure of 72.3% which comes from clinical samples from Lesbian relationships.
So what about scenarios where there is no reciprocal violence? PASK also asks that question.
The figures for Male assaults against female (non-mutual IPV) are:
- Population Surveys : 13.8%
- Community Samples 17.5%
- School & College samples 16.2%
Perhaps surprisingly the figures for Female assaults against male (non-mutual IPV) are:
- Population Surveys : 28.3%
- Community Samples 22.9%
- School & College samples 31.9%
It’s a frightening realisation that woman are twice as likely to attack a male partner, than a male assault a woman without any reciprocal action.
Domestic Violence is a complex issue but will never be addressed properly until there is acknowledgement that women can be as aggressive (in some cases even more so) than men.
So what as Rotarians can we do? Last year, my club invited the Head of the Police’s DV unit along to speak and we also held a drop-in clinic at the local Sure Start centre entitled ‘Maintaining peace in the home and family.’ This was held on International Day of Peace with Peace being one of Rotary’s area of focus. I also met with my local council and presented the evidence of how Domestic Violence affects everyone, not just the women and children that some support services reach. Through social media, I also run support groups and signpost people to organisations and publications. A really useful one is Domestic Violence UK who produce an excellent online magazine:
http://domesticviolenceuk.org/category/mutual-support-magazine/
Useful telephone numbers are:
24-hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline
0808 2000 247
Run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge (for Women and children)
National Helpline for Men ( ManKind Initiative)
01823 334244
Our confidential helpline is manned from Monday to Friday 10am – 4pm and 7pm – 9pm.
Helpline services for the Deaf are provided through Text Relay. Visit www.textrelay.org for details.
Broken Rainbow National LGBT Domestic Violence Helpline
0300 999 5428 (LGBT)
(LGBT = 5428 on telephone keypad)
These are our opening times:
Monday and Thursday 10am to 8pm
Tuesday and Wednesday 10am to 5pm (1pm-5pm Tuesday is a Trans specific service)
Normal BT rates apply If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
I once knew a lovely man, so serene and happy with life, very contented. Where did I meet him? In prison – for murdering his wife. Why had he murdered her? He had suffered years of abuse, violent attacks, being stabbed and he had never retaliated. But he had no-one to talk to, he had no idea where to get support, he felt totally isolated and alone in his suffering. One day they went out: she got in the front to drive and was going on and on, he sat in the back of the car as was his place, where he saw a piece of string on the floor – he picked it up, lent forward and strangled her. He was happy to do his time for murder, prison was vastly better than the hell he had lived through. He only wished he had known where to reach for help.